Every once in a while, I’m trudging along my everyday path doing the same old regular things I do, and something emotionally remarkable happens. Yes, I just saw The Whale, and yes, I cried like a baby, but it’s not that.
This experience was more like an intersectional moment between meditation, intention, and some weird intervention. I woke up at 5:15 like I always do, piecing together my morning ritual of coffee’d daily planning, organizing, and brainstorming while the rest of the circus slumbered. Around 6:30, as cup #1 was wearing off, and the brainstorm’s wind had died down, I capped off with a bit of stretchy yoga and meditation. It (can) help me manage and start me on a less reactionary path for the day, and this is the part where I thank the fantastic people at Insight Timer for finally figuring out the meditation app thing. I’ve been a member for a while, and the options and content consistently find their way into my present circumstance at the right time.
I opened the app, picked a random 5-minute meditation, took off my glasses, and hit the deck. And then….SHE…..came on. I know it’s been said a bazillion times, but there is something about that accent reading poetry that is……wow…..and the words themselves, as they unfolded, connected impeccably. Why? Because I was looking for them. Here lies the argument for seeking guidance, experience, and growth; that moment when you are unsure, scared, or frustrated, and something happens (not all from luck) that makes the trudge easier. I started my yoga, and tears rolled as I reached for something beyond the stretches and, ultimately, my current belief system.
Mar Healy…..thank you. Experiencing this writing helped me identify my recent emotional weariness – exhaustion…..anxiety, and unsettledness. Doubt had crept in slowly over the last few days, like a poisonous tide, and the cognitive distortions were calling to me. The shadow and the inner critic were ganging up……and I needed an advocate. Then the voice came, referring to me as “my love.” Her voice….as my voice…speaking to myself. A voice that turned on a nightlight in the dark sucked out the poison and validated – held my hand and reminded me of the difference between what I think…..and what I am. It was a perfect connection, and I want to share it with you now.
Ladies and gentlemen – to read or to listen:
May You
by Mar Healy
http://marhealy.com/2019/09/03/may-you/
When the world has left you weary with unworthiness and shame
When your road is paved with memories of deep, unending pain
When you stumble as you try, my love, and getting up is tough
May you know how much you matter, may you know you are enough.
When the weight of all your wounding feels impossible to bear
When you try to breathe the hurt away but can’t come up for air
When giving up feels justified, when you’ve gone the final length
May you know how very brave you are, may you realise your strength.
When the world outside feels scary, when it feels too much to take
When you long to see the good in life, beyond this painful ache
When you feel as though you’re broken, or you’re damaged or you’re wrong
May you know how much you’re needed here, may you feel like you belong.
When the voice within turns hostile, criticising all you do
When it tells you you’re inadequate, just for being you
When it laughs and taunts and ridicules, when it bullies you with lies
May you see how very wrong it is, may you rise and rise and rise
What I know my love, so deeply, is that you’re a precious soul
And while you may not always feel it, you are already whole
Your scars do not define you, you’re so much more than your past
And however dark things get, dear one, just know that it won’t last
Because every precious moment, every single breath you take
Is a chance to start again, my love, to live your life awake
To remember who you are dear one, to know your love, your light
To journey home to presence and to live with all your mite
So please my darling, feel your breath, remember you’re alive
Release, let go and start again as each new breath arrives
For as long as you are breathing, and as long as lifeforce flows
There is something to hold on to, there is life and love and hope
