As we say goodbye to the old year and welcome the new, it’s natural to want to set goals and make positive changes. Maybe you’ve been wanting to take some action about drinking or using, or you’ve been contemplating a deep dive into your current recovery. We can certainly feel the heat as the internet bombards us for a week or two with squawkings about “resolutions” – it can feel really loaded. The pressure to perform and meet grande expectations can lead to concerns of “failing.” The perception of failure can lead to feelings of disappointment, frustration, and self-doubt, which can affect a person’s confidence and self-esteem. It can also cause a person to feel discouraged or disheartened, affecting their motivation and willingness to try again. In severe cases, failure can lead to depression and increased anxiety.
Setting goals can be overwhelming. But what if we took a step back for a moment and remembered that failure almost invariably will be part of the process of success? It gives us enough wind in our sails to get through the complex parts. We think failure (you know what? let’s call it “experience”) has a practical value, and you’ve come to the right place. I relate, and as the phrase literally goes, “it’s all good.”
Hi, I’m Andrew. I help people experiencing addiction to alcohol and drugs get to a better place. I also treat associated depression, anxiety, and other challenges that sometimes accompany addiction. Actively using or not, I am here for you, and this is a safe place to consider, get started with, or continue recovery. I welcome you. This blog is intended to serve as a backstage pass into my work as a clinician specializing in addiction, an accounting of experiences that have been helpful to people. Hence, you get a complete picture of addiction and recovery. Join my mailing list to get regular content. There is much to learn, and the more we know about a thing, the less intimidating it is, resulting in better outcomes.
What are goals?
Let’s start from the top. Recovery goals are specific targets or objectives that a person aims to achieve as part of their recovery process. They are a “what would I like my life to be” series of statements. You may have heard them referred to as treatment plans. These goals may be related to physical health, mental health, social support, or other areas of life. They may be short-term or long-term in nature. They can give a person a sense of purpose and direction as they work towards overcoming challenges and improving their overall well-being. Treatment goals are for anyone at any stage of recovery from the very beginning to years in. Treatment goals should reflect our current life, wherever that may be, and explore where we would like to go from here. Success is possible – I know that because I’ve seen it many times in my career. You can do all sorts of challenging things. Mandela said, “it always seems impossible until it is done.” I love the word “seems” as it implies perception, and as we know, perceptions can change into a beautiful reality. It’s not some privilege reserved for someone else – it’s not impossible – it’s for you because you deserve it as much as any other imperfect creature.
While we’re quoting, I remember a professor of mine referring to deciding on goals as, “Get Pacific, not Atlantic,” and I was like……what? Making the phrase difficult to forget, he meant that setting “world peace” as a goal probably is a bit broad and can lead to discouragement and a lack of motivation to keep going when you don’t reach it. Therefore, it’s essential to create attainable goals that you can work towards.
Here are five examples of addiction recovery goals:
- I want to stop using – no substances.
- I don’t think I’m ready to stop using, but I would like to see what it would be like to decrease my use.
- Coping with cravings: Developing strategies to manage and overcome cravings.
- Address and improve my co-occurring mental health disorder. i.e., decrease symptoms.
- I want more clarity about a specific life change to make a better decision.
Great goals, right? Actually, these are the most common and, of course, can vary depending on the individual. In any event, they should mean something significant to you. Once you have set a system for improvement, break your overall goal into smaller, more manageable pieces. In the recovery business, we call these objectives. They should be measurable if possible so we can tell if it’s the right goal leading to improvement. Breaking it down will help make your goal easier to tackle and provide more minor successes along the way. Sometimes a timeline for their completion to ensure that you stay on track is helpful. Whether you reach those milestones is less important than having a path – we can adjust later as needed.
Three examples of objectives are:
- Keep a log of my alcohol use every day this month to see how much I drink and what situations repeat themselves.
- Write down five specific mental health symptoms to increase clarity.
- List five things I’ve done well today.
“Success is not final; failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill
Now here’s where our “experience” lends itself to change. Picture a graph that tracks a stock doing better and better over time. It goes up, it goes down, it goes up again, then down a bit, then up more. As we back up and look at the whole graph, we realize it has gone up significantly overall. This is really important to recognize. The down bits…failures…..experiences….have been a vital learning tool for us to go up further than we did before. Keep going! Keep the original goal, but make current adjustments to meet your current challenges. Success has its own challenges, and we can discuss that later. However, learning from not reaching the goal allows us to reflect on what went wrong and learn from our mistakes. It can also help us develop resilience and perseverance as we overcome setbacks and continue moving forward.
Additionally, failing can often lead to unexpected successes and opportunities as we learn to adapt and approach challenges in new and creative ways. So, while it may be uncomfortable and challenging at times, failing is a natural and necessary part of life that can ultimately lead to growth and success. Give yourself a break.
Easier Together
There is much more to say about setting and achieving goals, but that’s some of the points, right? It is advised to have help as you decide on your goals and work through them. A professional perspective can be the difference between staying on the path and going off into the dark woods. It’s a process that should involve regular assessment, strategizing, and support. Bring a gang to fight the one. It’s also nice to have someone who recognizes your progress and success and is intimate with the hard work you’ve put in. I would argue the consideration to make any change at all is a success in itself and can build from there. It looks like you’ve already started – great job. Give me a shout if I can help.
